Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Because of You

This blog post was written by Tiffany, Surrogate Mother

Blogging while being sick has been harder than I thought! So here comes a lovely update.    

I want to take some time to talk about you, the reader.  The people who have been constantly coming forward with their supportive words, prayers, thoughts and stories.  Your stories have brought us all together. I feel as though we are all a part of an intricate web, sewn together delicately; intertwined by our life experiences.  The positive words you say, give great strength in both Natalie and myself: neither side is easy.  Carrying twins and being sick is no easy task.  Being the mother and having to let your babies be carried by someone else, also, no easy task.   We have signed up for something very challenging but have been overwhelmed by the response, by the love and support from family, friends and complete strangers.

So many of you have been down heartbreaking paths. You have had the courage to speak up to us, to reach out and share your stories.  To break the silence that haunts those suffering from infertility and those that ache to grow their families but cannot.  I know it has opened my eyes into this new world of fertility issues and the pain and challenges that come along with it.  This journey has been so eye opening on many levels, but mostly the comradery between the women has been mind blowing.   Often times, we hear how catty women are, how gossipy, drama filled etc. they can be.  This has not been my experience with women.   Many of you have sent supportive emails, letters, packages, even maternity clothes! One of my clients (someone I would love to call a friend after what she did) sent maternity clothes and a note that said, "It takes a village to raise a child, in this case, a metropolis!"   Which I could not agree more.    The support you have all shown is awe inspiring, brings tears to my eyes and renews so much faith.  

This process is HARD.  But it is also beautiful, and wonderful and I don't know how I could get through this without the support of my metropolis. I am inspired by all of you.  I feel like the luckiest surrogate in the world to have such amazing, positive feedback coming in from all these women, mother's, daughters and yes, even the men! 

Because of you, I have the strength to keep sharing. Because of you I have the strength to stand tall and push through the hard times.  Because of you, I don't feel as alone.  Because of you, I truly do feel inspired.  

Thank you for your continued support in this very challenging time in our lives.   I would love to share with you an email I received from my girlfriend's mom.  She sent this to me when I was having a really hard time being so sick, missing my time with my children, my friends and family and feeling so alone. Of course, I cried like a baby as I read this:  

"Although it seems like it, you are never alone. You alone feel the nausea, the other discomforts, all the things you cannot do which you want to get done. I was only allowed to get up for trips to the bathroom, and a 5 minute shower once a day. I so wanted to go outside, but my outside was limited to the view out my bedroom window. When all of this is over, I bet you will have a new appreciation of the smallest little things, like a walk in the sunshine without feeling sick. Your act of sacrifice for these two little people will change your life forever. You are not alone, because every woman who has negotiated a difficult pregnancy is walking along with you spiritually, and we've got your back. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug and tell you there are better days ahead. You are creating miracles! Today is another victory in the making. You are not alone."

This process has been hard, and I wish so much it was easier, but it is a sacrifice on many levels, and no matter how hard it is, I would never change it.  I am so honored to be in this position.  I am fearful that me speaking of my being sick and how hard this is will come across as complaining, when I simply just want to update people.   We are very lucky with two healthy growing babies right now.  I am counting all of our blessings. 

Thank you again for having the courage to speak up, for being the light in the dark times, for always reaching out.  You have made a difference.  The twins are growing amazing, I am entering my 21st week and they are moving like crazy!  Baby B is almost always the first to wake, and he kicks so much until he wakes Baby A and they start their dance. It is truly a miracle.  

Here are some photos of the 20 week check up, they are growing a few days ahead of "Schedule."  My belly is measuring at week 29... here we go! Also check out the video clip of the babies!  


"No one can whistle a symphony.  It takes a whole orchestra to play it."  ~H.E. Luccock

Video of the twins at 20 weeks:


  1. Ooooh, Tiffany.... you made me cry (again). Your girlfriend's mom was exactly right- you are not alone. There are lots of fans out here, most of whom will never be able to meet you or better yet have you do a twin belly dance at their wedding (xo for that!). All of us, near or far, are rooting for you and are just awestruck at this most awesome thing that you are going through.
    I am one of the lucky people who is a bit geographically closer and can actually say that you are even more fabulous in person than you are in your online presence.
    Hang in there and keep on feeling the love!

  2. Hi Tiffany,

    You are doing an amazingly generous thing for your brother and sister-in-law. Everyday for the rest of their lives they will be thanking you. (Imagine the power you have hee hee :) Like your friends mom I was on bedrest. For 20 weeks I was only allowed bathroom and one shower break and my thighs blew up with all the retained fluid. I vowed that if my thighs went back to normal I would never complain about them again. After my long hard pregnancy I appreciate my body and my baby much more (my kid can get away with anything :)
    You are not alone. I'm pulling for you and Natalie and the babies. You guys can do it!!

  3. You are an amazing and strong woman! I am a proud surrogate mommy and it is very hard the time it can take away from your family and the strain on your body! It is equally hard to on the intended parents, they have given up the control to someone else,it's not an easy road to navigate, but in the end the miracle of those little babies will be worth all of the struggle! I commend you and love to hear any updates you make! I guarantee the day those beautiful babies are born all the struggles will be forgotten! The look on my intended parents faces was worth every single struggle I had to endure to bring together this perfect family. I am proud to have helped create a family and am proudly starting my next journey soon! Please keep the updates coming!

  4. Thanks for sharing your journey with the world. We are 21 weeks today thanks to God and our Rock Star surrogate. I just wanted to add, it's kind of my tag line, goes along with the reference above - People say it takes a village to raise a child, for us it is taking a village to HAVE a child. Thanks to doctors, nurses, lawyers, psychologists and a Rock Star surrogate, we're getting there.... Best of luck!!

  5. You are amazing Tiffany! Thanks for sharing , I truly enjoy ready your posts! I'm an intended mother,today we hit 25 weeks! I am so blessed to have my beautiful surrogate and twins on the way! Sending many prayers your way!
    Have a Suneday!

  6. Tiffany, I love reading your blog!! You are so inspiring:)

  7. Tiffany, you truly are an amazing woman and so is Natalie. DH and I are still waiting for our forever baby after losing so many over the past couple of years and we hope not to need to use a surrogate. But to know there are women like you who are so generous and selfless fills us with hope that one way or another we will have our baby. I hope the pregnancy becomes easier on you. We will keep you in our thoughts and keep reading. You are such an inspirational family.

    And Natalie, you are such a strong woman. To have gone through all you did and to keep fighting for a bigger family is amazing. I am so pleased you have two baby boys on their way to you and that Hunter is going to be a big brother.

  8. You are so beautiful, must of all an angel...I could tell though my sad story but I won't..I pray I will find someone like you to help us, I pray for the financing, health etc.to come through.you are so amazing!


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